I have been working with my private client and good friend Emily for about a year.
Last evening I was out to dinner with her and listened as she excitedly told me about a new job offer from a prestigious employer, a move to the capital city, and all the prospects that the new beginning will bring.
I got to know Emily at a time when she was going through a failing situation. Emily has since evolved to become a stronger, more independent person – a transformation I have found joy in witnessing.
Later that night, I began to contemplate on this concept we call failure. You and I have most certainly known what it’s like to fail.
At the best, a small failure is but an annoyance. At the worst, a big failure can be excruciating and can make you feel like the world has ended.
A significant relationship that ended in separation. A major business venture that fell and left you deep in dept. Or an important competition you didn’t win.
Well, the world didn’t end, and you realise that you are still alive. You have to go on, somehow.
So, how do you dust off the bruised ego and shame you felt of having failed, and go on? More importantly, how do you take what’s been given to you – a failure – and use it to fuel your success?
My mind began to wander to a phenomenon governed by the laws of physics.
Last weekend, I saw a talk that led me to contemplate on the bee.
Bees hold reverence in my culture. Being the only insect that gives us wholesome food with tremendous healing properties, its significance has been mentioned in various sacred texts, endearing it to many across different religions and cultures.
As an on-purpose entrepreneur, surely we can’t discount the importance of learning from the producers of a product so revered to by the world. If you studied enough about bees, you can learn a great deal from them and how you can apply that in the way you do business.
Sarah is in a café with her best girlfriends. While chattering away, one of the girls began complaining about her husband.
“Can you believe what he did?”
Soon, all of her girlfriends are pitching in to the conversation about the shortcomings of their husbands.
“He SHOULD have done this instead. Y’all agree, right?”
Inevitably, Sarah joins in, too.
“You are SO right. Mine does it ALL the time!”
Hey, no harm in small complaints, right? After all, we all need to vent, and who better than with our girlfriends? It’s all done in the spirit of camaraderie, right?
Well, the story didn’t end just yet.
Sarah goes home. She sees her husband.
In the state of mind of having just vented out her husband’s shortcomings to her best pals, she now wonders why she married him in the first place. She wonders why her marriage isn’t as successful as she had dreamed of it the day she got married to the man she was once so passionate for.
Do you see yourself somewhere in this scenario, with someone, or even something, in your life?
A good friend of mine is an excellent photographer.
We’d sometimes discuss how business is going, and he’d tell me about his projects with passion.
So I would casually ask, how much did you charge for them?
And he’d answer, €150 for this wedding, or, nothing for that project ‘cos it’s at a really cool site...
I listened in dismay.
All the more so because I know that he’s still balancing a 12-hour day shift job on the side.
So I said, Friend, you need to raise your prices.
That’s when his “stuff” came up of course, and we discussed further into it, but my purpose for telling you this story is not to patronise him. After all, we are all at different stages in our business, with all the mindset blocks we need to work through.
Our conversation made me realise just how valuable it is to invest in working with a coach – someone who was where you are now and has successfully gone to where you want to go.
One of the first things I learned is to be aware of limiting beliefs that keeps me stuck from breaking through the ceilings I’ve put myself under.
It’s not so much that the economy is bad, everyone else is charging low, or there is too much competition.
What usually lies below our limiting beliefs around money is one thing:
And the only way to overcome that fear is to shift the way we think about money.